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Sunday, January 30, 2011

Fable Attraction

I’m in love with these photos. I discovered them when I was reading a fashion blog/website that I check on every 2 weeks or so called Honestly WTF. These pictures are collectively called ‘Fable Attraction’ and come from the May 2002 issue of W, they were shot by Carter Smith.













 

Friday, January 28, 2011

An Introduction to Lissy and Kim, by Alli

Alright, so I decided, for my first post, I would let you all know a little about my friends, Kim an Lissy. Like how we know each other and just tell you a little about them, you know, since they asked me some revealing questions about my snot and such. Which, by the way, I would like to clear up that I do not roll and flick at any house but my own so don't stop having me over :)

Then I decided that would be boring...

So I started Googling "funny" Lissy and "funny" Kim, as, you already know, I like to do.

Still boring......thanks for nuthin' Google.

So I searched out the good 'ol Urban Dictionary to help describe them. I typed in "Lissy" and was quite unsatisfied pretty much told me she was a pussy ass lesbian... weird right?

So I typed in Melissa....

"Melissa is the coolest kid that has EVER graced the Earth. Most Melissa's are ridiculously attractive and have many a boys wishing to bang them, crazy cowboy style. Melissa's are also very generous and caring, often times taking care of their overly wasted friends, who while are entertaining, are prone to running away and getting searched by police. Melissa's are also intensely smart and their brain power is like super heroic. "

Now we are getting closer....

Here is my interpretation of that statement:

She is pretty cool and definitely thinks she is the coolest kid that graced this earth, although she prefers to be called "Awesome". She is ridiculously attractive, so of course the boy thing is true. I don't know about cowboy style but she did once date a sort of cowboy and has a love for cowboy boots. I'm not sure about taking care of her overly wasted friends part, I do recall at her wedding she just laughed at me as I wrote an unreadable novel in her guest book, confessing my everlasting friendship love for her... that should have been stopped! I think here it is saying her friends were prone to running away, nope the run away was our sweet little Melissa!
As for being intensely smart and having super heroic brain power! That is the truth, as we all know!

Kim....

"She's the girl you always go back to. She's totally her own person, and sometimes people use that against her, but Kim has that fire that just intimidates. She's got those eyes that can seduce you in one glance, or break your heart with a single glare. She's a brunette with an ass that you wanna grab onto for days. She's always bringing fun wherever she goes, yet you'll never find a girl more laid back. She's sexy without even trying, and her personality is just as beautiful. If you manage to find her, she's a keeper."

Oh my Kim:

She is definitely her own person, strong and confident.  I wouldn't want to be on her bad side. I wouldn't want her fire to intimidate me. Now, they talk about her eyes seducing, but I'm pretty sure it's her teeth. She has really nice teeth that stare at you, especially when you have had a few too many. I could hold onto her ass for dayz, all though it might get boring after too long and who would watch my kids?  Kim is fun and laid back and definitely sexy without even trying... I agree Kim is a keeper....

Sorry Lissy, Kim's was nicer, but she didn't lock me out of the school bus, strangle me with a leopard print scarf for breaking purple chalk or always make me play the boy in the game of House!
Love you guys!

♥Alli 
p.s  follow the link and see how "they" define Quadra Island




Thursday, January 27, 2011

Special Guest Star: Alli!

Do you remember when Heather Locklear was the special guest star on Melrose Place for, like, 4 years? Ummm... me neither... *cough*.... (Actually, my mom and I always wondered if she got paid more because of that.)


Anyways, Kim and I, we have our own Special Guest Star: Alli.






Alli has decided to join us, now and again, while on an extended hiatus from her own blog. I think maybe she's learned that Kim and I are way more fun to blog with then... well... herself. 

Pfft, obviously.

It's a little known fact that Alli is an original Polluted Pixie. Yup, once there were 3 of us. Now, for your enjoyment, there are three again...

For fun, before she does her first post, we're going to ask her a few questions, so you can get to know some really important details about her.

1. Would you rather be super pretty or super smart?
     Aww really? I hate that question. Can't I just be pretty and smart? Without the super? That's a compromise right? Wait, if I choose smart, am I hard to look at? Cause if I'm smart, I could make lotsa money and pay to be nice to look at. Tough choice but I think smarts make you pretty, so I'm gonna go with that, but I would really like to order a side of pretty if possible.
 
2. What do you do with your boogers after you pick them?
     Well if Kleenex is near by, I take that route but if not.... Roll and flick....love when they land on a hard surface and you can hear them...lol. Then I just hope that the vacuum finds them, cause I vacuum every day..no lie. So don't be scared to come visit, I promise my house is not riddled with hidden snot....or wait I do live with 3 boyz so I take that back....you might wanna watch where you sit ;)

3. Ryan Gosling or Ryan Reynolds?
 Reynolds....Good ol' Canadian boy! Never really understood why he was so popular but then I started to crush and it stuck.  (**eh-hem... Gosling is Canadian too... just saying. --xo L**)

4. What kind of road sign would you be, and why?
 You would think the answer to this question would be pretty simple right? Wrong! I decided to Google road signs and spent way too much time laughing at the ones that are out there. I'm a big fan of putting  "funny" in front of anything you Google, so here's what I came up with....
   


                                                 
Im a breastfeeding mom and as much as I'm not sure if this is a real road sign it is how I feel! NO touchy!



This pretty much explains me on a daily basis!

You should all take a minute to check out some of the "funny signs in Google images!
I wanted to keep this post sorta clean but man I was tempted....

xo Alli

*************

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Social Media for Beginners Workshop and Dinner

What's that?

Well, that's the workshop Kim and I are teaching at our local Community Center this weekend. It's free and for anyone that wonders what exactly it's all about, or isn't sure how to work things like facebook. So basically for ppl my mom's age and older, I think. I mean, you don't hear too many ppl 35 and under wonder what it's for or how it works, they live there already, it's their home. Kim and I are a perfect example.

Now I'm wondering, is there anything you're wondering about social media? What sort of questions would you ask if you were attending such a class? Give us some ideas. Do it!

We worked on it for almost 5 hours today... I left my brain back there. We did a lot of mindless clicking as we took screenshot after screenshot for our power point presentation. We're both sorta wondering what we got ourselves into at this point. I mean, really, I hope the ppl that signed up have a good sense of humor, since the screenshots say things like: "Kim, you smell" if you look really closely. That's what you get when you roll with us though.

I drank way too much caffeine today (in fact, you should probably read this post at a really fast pace, because even though I'm putting in comma's and periods, they are a product of my trained typing fingers, the thoughts don't have any at all...) and now I'm tired and jittery all at once, I'm not a fan of the feeling. I keep pacing, thinking, I should make dinner!... nope, too tired... what's new on Face? nothing.... I should make dinner... nope... well, you get the idea. Maybe you can tell from the way this post is going actually. It's sorta all over the place. Speaking of which, I'm going to make taco salad for dinner! Well, I guess I wasn't speaking of that at all, was I? Anyways....




Will mine look like that? Nope, not a chance! But that one is pretty, isn't it? Maybe you should make me one that looks like that. Do it!

H&B's
Lissy

PS. Remind me not to drink coffee ever again... unless it's a latte... or a frappacino... or in ice cream...

My First Knitting Pattern: Gadget Sock

OK, so I made this pattern. Patterns aren't really my thing. I think I've mentioned before that I was raised by a mother that took patterns, recipes, and instructions as guidelines, not rules. This sorta rubbed off on me. So, you know, following a pattern is about as natural to me as say... drinking 6 glasses of water a day instead of 3 pots of tea, or taking out the garbage, that is to say, it's not.

However, I try to learn one new thing every winter, (in regards to crafting that is, obviously I learn new things more than just in the winter. I learn new things every day. Like today, today I learned that Days of Our Lives is on at 9, 10, 12 and 1 and now you've learned it too. Lucky you.), and a few winters ago I taught myself how to read a knitting pattern **notice I said read, not follow**. Yes, I now know how to read patterns, but I still have a hard time following them. Yet, here I am trying to write one. So, I'm hoping you knitters will help me out. I'd like to know if this pattern is mistake free and follow-able, can you test it for me? It's a very quick project, it took me approximately the length of Grey's Anatomy to make this and write down the patter, so that's about an hour (I'm all about instant gratification), it will be less time for you I'm sure. It's a gadget sock. So far I've tested it on an iPhone, a Blackberry, and a camera and it fit them all. Test it. Tell me about it. Send me pictures if you make it.

*** If the end seam is too confusing. You can easily seam it with the Kitchener stitch instead.***


Tuesday, January 25, 2011

B!tch Bag #2

Spencer

This skinny bitch is all sugar and spice. Disgustingling hot on the outside, way too spicy on the inside.

Everyone in school wants to be her, including you, even though she made out with your boyfriend and told the whole school you have h*rpes...







Spencer was once a school girl kilt and jumper, but not anymore. Now she's just a B!tch Bag.

Monday, January 24, 2011

What's for Dinner?



We had African Peanut Soup.



What did you have?


H&B's
L

Friday, January 21, 2011

B!tch Bag #1

 "Madge, You're Such a Dick"

MD is sooooo hipster. Much too hipster to be your friend anymore, after all, you shop at Old Navy and have no idea what glitch music is.

Pft, you are such a mainstream conformist.

In fact, this former best friend has totally nixed you simply because you can't follow a convo about philosophy, you quit smoking and don't own an ironic tshirt.






MD is made from Vintage Dick Tracy bed sheets, a flouncy black skirt, red airy curtains, and a leather belt. All combined she's  a rather large, 2 compartment, 5 pocket B!tch that will hold all your essentials, even your laptop.

So when Dick says:

"I'm on my way..."

you will be too.



Wednesday, January 19, 2011

The B!tch Bag

To answer some of your questions...

What's a B!tch Bag? 

Well, I'm sure you've heard the term before, somewhere.

However, here's what it is to us Polluted Pixie's:

A purse that was formerly something else.

Be it a leather jacket, a skirt, curtains or maybe Dad's old pants, they'll all become a Bag. I will have, in a sense, taken an object and made it my b!tch and therefore, it's a B!tch Bag.

Once you get one, you will make it your b!tch.

Dump all your sh*t on that b!tch and make her haul it around. Make her fat with your garbage and throw her on the floor.

Do it. I dare you.

What is Bags for Bags?

Just that, a bag for a bag. If you're female, you're a bag. No avoiding it. At some point in your life... well, lets be honest, at some point today, you've been a bag to someone or something. You're a bag and these bags are for you.

Some day, I may make bags for men, and they'll probably called something like, DouchBags. We'll see. It's a maybe.

***Coming Soon: Meet Some B!tches*****


H& B's

 

Monday, January 17, 2011

Saturday, January 15, 2011

It happens

Me, coming across wrong that is.

It happens a lot.

My humor can be rather crooked.

I can be too honest... or not honest enough.

I say things and then leave it, never explaining what the hell I was talking about, what I was getting at.

Sometimes when I try to explain myself, it doesn't make any sense.

I imagine it happens to you as well. I'm not the only quirky one in the world.

Anyways, I got an email from a friend the other day and she informed me that she thought I was too hard on myself in my last post. That puzzled me, so I went and re-read the post.

Hmmm.... ok, so maybe it came across like that. Maybe, if you read it negatively.

Here's the thing I forgot to explain: I believe that if something is yours, you own it. This includes flaws.

Life is all about discovery and your biggest research project is yourself.

It's your job to know you.

All different aspects of you.

Discover them,
See them,
Except or change them.

When I talk about my flaws, I'm not ragging on myself, I'm exploring myself further. Digging deeper. Looking for others perspectives so that my own can grow.

I don't know if that makes any sense. Like I said, sometimes I don't explain myself well.

It happens.

H&B's
L




Thursday, January 13, 2011

Static

I've been trying to blog for days now.

Obviously it hasn't worked.

I've tried to come up with something to talk about, honestly, I've even tried to force it a few times by opening up the post writer and putting my fingers to the keyboard.

Static.

All I hear is static.

So, rather than continue the silence, I figured I'd talk about it. Not that you're not used to it by now, right? I mean, honestly, how many times have I announced, "I'm back!" or have had to say, "Did you miss me?"

Those of you that know me in person, know that this is what I'm like. I'm either talking too much, or not talking enough. There is rarely a happy medium.

The passed week I've been spending my days alternating between being a miserable grumpy bitch and being in a day dream stupor.

January is a busy month, there are things I should be doing, but you know me, Queen Procrastinator.

Why do Now what I can do Tomorrow..?

It's my motto.

Not a good one, not even one that I choose consciously, but it is what it is. It's mine. And if there's one thing I'm good at, it's owning my flaws... once I've recognized them, that is.

Right now, I'm day dreaming about having my own studio. A place where all my tools are set up and waiting. A place where I can't decide to watch tv instead, or find myself an hour later still on Facebook. A place where my motto doesn't rule supreme. It would be nice, wouldn't it? Course, day dreams generally are nice. Otherwise a person wouldn't be dreaming while awake about whatever it is they're dreaming about, would they?

I tell keep telling myself, "It'll happen. I'll get my studio one day." But I take no steps toward making it happen. I've got too much Dream, not enough Do. Just another flaw.

You want to know somemore flaws? Here, I'll tell you a few. Then maybe you can share some of yours.

  • I can't drive. Seriously, I'm horrible. (I've never been in an accident while I'm driving, but it's been close.)
  • I spend too much time on the computer.
  • I only half listen most of the time. It's something I'm constantly struggling with my son over, yet it comes straight from my genes. If you hear me saying, "uh-huh...yeah... huh... funny..." I'm not listening to you. Feel free to call me on it. I mean, I'll lie about it, but at least you will have gotten my attention.
  • My main food groups are, Sugar, High Fructose Syrup, Artificial Colouring, and Chocolate.
  • I'm a total clutter-bug. A borderline hoarder really. It's so bad it even bugs me. But do I do anything about it? Pfft. 
  • I cut ppl off. (When they're talking, I mean. We've already covered Driving.) I can't seem to stop. I'll even go into a convo telling myself, "you won't interrupt" and yet there I am, cutting the person off, to talk about.... ME!
  • My favorite way to exercise is to watch infomercials for the AB-DOer Twist (seriously, have you seen that one? It'll make your day.)





OK, I shared some of mine. Let's hear yours.

Hearts & Bubbles
L

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Dreaming......

I want to be here:


and here:


and here:


and here:

Sunday, January 09, 2011

What do you think?

So Starbucks has announced that they are updating their logo........



Now I have 2 questions for you......

#1: What do you think?

#2: Why do you think they are updating...for a new look or to avoid things like this happening to their logo? (see pics below)




Let me know what you think......

Thursday, January 06, 2011

Tuesday, January 04, 2011

Hi

So, good new... I shaved a leg today.*

Guess that means I'm shaking off my Holiday Stupor. Maybe.

How were your holidays? Did you gain 5 pounds?

If you didn't, you fail. FAIL.

Maybe you Failures don't know the secrets to success. I'll give you a few basic pointers to help you along next year, since I'm just awesome like that.

Tip #1: Stay in your Jammies until at least 1230 every day. 130 is better, but you want to ease into these things.

Tip #2: Eat at least 2 holiday treats before and while your coffee is brewing. Then, eat 4 more with your coffee. Didn't you know? From December 20th-January 3rd breakfast consists of sugar plums (what are those things anyways? Anyone ever had one?).

Tip #3: Watch at least 4 hours of day time TV... no, not through out the holidays. Every. Day. Christmas movies are preferable, but Soap Opera's will do in a pinch. Eat more holiday treats while you're at it.

Tip #4: All coffee drinks must be treated with yummy holiday flavorings. Kahlua, Coraline's, or even Irish Cream flavored Petroleum Products (there's some of that in my fridge right now... love me some edible petroleum products.)

Tip #5: Cream Cheese, Brie, Camembert. They are your friends, you are supposed to surround yourself with your friends during the holidays...

Tip #6: There is no exercising during the Holidays, none. If you are thinking about it, you haven't grasped the idea of a HOLIDAY. Instant fail if you even try it. FAIL. (Kim totally failed, by the way.)

Mind you, these are mostly just morning tips... you will have to round out the rest of your day on your own.


How many of you do the whole New Year's Resolution thing? I don't believe in them myself. Why make goals you're not going to keep once a year? I mean, I do it year round, so you do, why try to make January 1st seem special? C'mon, be honest, if you are cool putting off that Big Change until the beginning of the year, chances are you're going to be cool continuing to put it off for a while longer, non? Now, those of you that said yes to my NYR question, do you want to bet on whether you'll follow through this year? I'll collect my winnings at the end of this year.

Now, aren't you glad I'm back? Yay! Lissy's back to spread some good feelings and lovely advice around. Mwah!
Hearts and Bubbles, 


*Yeah, just one, that's not a typo.